mindlace

Since you probably haven’t had the chance to get there yet, I encourage you to virtually visit the Creation Museum.

Being something of a Void devotee, I’m always on the lookout for new nothing, or bigger nothing. Heck, I can even get pretty exited by a big hole in the ground. I try to remain aware of the little nothings, but after a while all those absences just lack that certain je ne sais rien.

So of course I’ve been following the news of the great big hole in the sky with some excitement. In a paper coming out nowish, they advance the theory that the void is evidence for a phase transition in the early universe. I like that one, if only because it hearkens back to Void’s sweet cousin, Noise.

Personally I still side in favor of the argument that the great big hole is a reflection of the fact that the universe is not infinite and thus you don’t see symmetry in the CMB ‘all the way up’. Why would I be in favor of a finite universe, you might ask; and well you might, because besides solving Zeno’s paradox and being an essential precondition for living in a simulable universe, there’s an even niftier thing that a finite universe implies:

More nothing.

Highlight of my week last week: I felt like for the first time I genuinely envisioned a 3-sphere. I was a strung-out and not very thrilling attendee at the wedding of the last two genuine hipsters in Brooklyn. They’re the sort of couple who make your teeth vibrate with their awesomeness and their wedding did not disappoint.

Work threatens to drive all the creatures that aren’t problem-solving web geeks from my head, hopefully treated by some intense expression soonish. If nothing else I’m going on a creative sabbatical soon where I will go hide and make art.

Lately i’m working ten hours or more a day. I’ve been trying to study more about Tantra through scholarly texts and first person accounts; it has gone slowly. Social life has been bipolar, with a good deal of unpleasantness and some beautiful high notes. While it looks like the work will get a little mellower in the next couple of days, I have little hope for the social sphere - I have had strong reminders that some of the deep aspects of myself from which I draw power are unpleasant or worse for other humans, and it appears for the moment that it is these aspects which are invoking the distress of people around me. Unfortunately, they’re people close enough to me that the usual tactics I indulge in to help others tolerate me aren’t viable… in fact, so far they’ve just made things worse.

Still, I haven’t felt this together in a long while, and it is very rewarding to feel that I might finally be competent enough to become the change I wish to see in the world.

I’ve long been kinda fond of other living things, and so I always tried to brush off insects when they landed on me, for fear of harming them.

Beetles in particular have very grippy feet and they generally hunkered down when I brushed at them. When I then tried to lift them off, they would often just grab on harder, until I feared that I would crush them or break their legs if I pulled hard enough.

So I figured if they wanted to walk around on me, I might as well let them, especially considering there’s nary a beetle out there that’s dangerous to live humans. This policy gradually expanded to include the bulk of insects, so I have had a lot of beetles and other insects walking on me in my time.

While the little grippy paws - almost like a very gentle clasp - of beetles are my favorites, I appreciate the others as well. While they’re not strictly speaking insects, I appreciate the feathery touch of daddy long-legs. They’re so light it’s hard to tell whether they’re a light breeze or an actual spider. However, since several of the other spiders where I grew up were often at least decently damaging, I haven’t really given spiders the benefit of the doubt as much.

Ants are nice as well, though they’re the most finicky of flesh travelers. The big black ones from childhood tend to be the most mellow, but lots of them tend towards reflexive biting.

Bees and wasps are fun because of the risk factor. I’ve spent a few long minutes with a bee crawling over my popsicle-stained mouth. The feel of bee feet on my lips is something I will never forget.

Despite it being my totem animal, I haven’t actually had the experience of having cockroaches crawling on me; they tend to be too skittish. I keep meaning to raise them but have yet to be in a context where the humans around me are kosher with that. When I do, I’ll be sure to let y’all know.