mindlace

I just saw an episode of Bones that dwelled quite extensively on procreation. One of the things I really appreciate about Dr. Brennan is that she consistently makes arguments I’ve made (at least to myself) before.

Among other pithy observations, she points out that having children is irrational, and that the magic feeling of having a child is really just the serotonin (though, to be fair, she probably should’ve said oxytocin).

Unfortunately, like all American moving pictures, sentimentality must win in the end, and this episode is no exception; it ends with an “aww, wouldn’t it be nice to have a kid” moment.

I’m also reading Our Inner Ape (which is much, much better than Primates and Philosophers). Dr. de Wall points out that whomever can’t get it up to pass on their genes, regardless of the cost, doesn’t make it into the next generation, thus leading to the present it-costs-more-than-it’s-worth scenario.

The thing for me, though, is that I’ve already got the feeling that I’ve jumped the shark; from little things like being cranky that kids these days can’t seem to spell worth a damn to the pervasive sensation that my body has started its long slide into senescence… if this were a game I’d’ve hit the reset button long ago.

Now, I’m not complaining, mind you; by just about any measure, I live one of the most privileged lives this miserable ball of rock has to offer.

Mostly it’s that I’m just recently climbing out of some problems that have dogged me for as long as I can remember, and I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if I could’ve gotten over some of this nonsense earlier, or if I would’ve even had these problems had I grown up in a more enlightened environment.

For me, that’s one of the big things that makes the apparent negative ROI of reproducing worthwhile: not to live vicariously through my children, but simply to give someone the opportunity to grow up in an environment of respect and care for their emotional and intellectual well-being.

These “mutterings” seem a little weird to have in addition to the twitter box; I mean, how many short life updates can I cram into a sidebar?

I’m settling into life version 3.x, and while it’s clearly still a development branch it holds promise. My apartment is (still) a wreck but I guess I’ll get that taken care of in the next few days, which means I should finally be able to start having people over for dinner and BRAINS.

Still working like a fiend, partially because there’s a lot of work and partially because I’m trying to shovel myself out from under a mountain of debt. I’m enjoying it, though, and it’s all crap that will look nice on a resume the next time I’m pimping myself out.

For a variety of reasons I’m allied with the notion that space is finite and discrete. Both of you that follow my blog know that we’ve already discovered that there are “holes” in the CMB; now they’ve got an alternative to the “flat” space geometry that has held sway to date, namely the Poincare Dodecahedral Space Model. The part of the article I like is:

the data delivered between 2003 and 2006 by the NASA satellite WMAP, which produced a full-sky, high resolution map of the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB), yield a very poor fit to the concordance model at large angular scales. They rather tend to favour a finite, positively curved space, and provide hints about a multiply-connected topology. [full story]  

After seven months of more or less non-stop working like crazy to establish a foothold in Boston and keep up with the exigencies of life, I’m finally to the point where I can pay (some) attention to the work I wanted to do when I arrived.

The work itself is hard to articulate in less than a few thousand words, but a simplistic take on it is that I want to make a game.

In order to make myself focus on work, I ditched my MacBook Pro for a MacBook. Having no 3d capability to speak of, it eliminated the temptation to write games when I should’ve been working.

Yesterday I finally got myself a new machine that does have dedicated 3D; the 24” iMac. For a thousand dollars less than the Mac Pro, it has enough graphics oomph to give me the graphic fidelity I need; I’m no super 3d artist or anything so most of the visual effects of the game will have to wait until I can con an artist into working with me.

I’m fairly happy with it. Firstly, the keyboard is a thing of beauty. It’s basically a refined version of the keyboard on the MacBook with slightly more spacious function keys and a full number pad. It’s commentary of some sort that a number pad makes me so happy.

I was this >< close to getting the 20” iMac, but I have also developed something of a sweet tooth for TV on iTunes, and, well… the 24” is juust bigger enough to be substantially more compelling when viewing at about six feet.

I’ve yet to figure out whether the built-in speakers will suffice for most of my video watching, but the screen will certainly suffice.

Even the Mighty Mouse is not as apocalyptically awful as I thought it would be. The ball, which felt horribly sloppy to me when I first used it, turns out to be very responsive to your movements, which almost makes it tolerable. The one thing that bugs me is that the right mouse button doesn’t seem to work if the left button is being touched at all, which is definitely requiring me to change my finger-wiggling habits.

Mac OS Leopard is also pretty durn spiffy; I haven’t used much of it yet, but the new look is a welcome change and the improvements to Mail.app quite welcome.

I also bought an upgrade to Unity, the 3D game environment I’m coding in, and I really look forward to diving into that - just as soon as the firm I’m consulting in association with gets around to getting me a machine like they said they would, so I can take this bad boy home.

Wunjo, pronounced vun-yoh, is the rune of joy, peaceful winning, and wishes fulfilled. I drew this rune after a rebirth at a solstice ritual. It is one of the few unambiguously “good” runes in the Elder Futhark, and it surprised and delighted me as portents are seldom so clear and kind. Here’s hoping it holds true.

I have a comfy new chair in which I expect to while away the hours reading. I have jacked up the buproprion and eliminated the citalopram which made today really peculiar for my mental state. Interpersonal interactions have gone to eleven. I am attempting to put in a triple-digit amount of work this week so that I can finish a project and take care of my obligations next month. The interpersonal stuff has made that a touch more complicated, but life is like a perhaps hand.

Please, if you care for me one whit, do not get me any gifts this holiday season. Furthermore, please forgive me for not getting you any. I do not care for this time and do not care to participate in it.