Lately i’m working ten hours or more a day. I’ve been trying to study more about Tantra through scholarly texts and first person accounts; it has gone slowly. Social life has been bipolar, with a good deal of unpleasantness and some beautiful high notes. While it looks like the work will get a little mellower in the next couple of days, I have little hope for the social sphere – I have had strong reminders that some of the deep aspects of myself from which I draw power are unpleasant or worse for other humans, and it appears for the moment that it is these aspects which are invoking the distress of people around me. Unfortunately, they’re people close enough to me that the usual tactics I indulge in to help others tolerate me aren’t viable… in fact, so far they’ve just made things worse.
Still, I haven’t felt this together in a long while, and it is very rewarding to feel that I might finally be competent enough to become the change I wish to see in the world.
October 7th, 2007 at 12:29
So, I’d be interested in you being more explicit about what the usual tactics are. it’s funny, I was remembering the other day our time training at ‘Startek’ or whatever it was called (the place in Greeley), and how the lady trainer just hated you b/c you kept telling her how dumb the responses were on the scripts. I seem to recall you wanted to educate the user and all she was concerned with was whether or not you got the job done…is your situation something similar to this – being at odds with people over a particular MO?